#57: The Egg Rectory

Age: 200 years

Hidden or Lost?: Hidden

History: Down a forgotten trail deep in the woods behind the grand Church of the Tells, and locked behind a hastily constructed stone wall are the old clerical dorms, now only whispered about as ‘The Egg Rectory.’ The crumbling complex dates back to the founding of the church, and was meant to be a place of respite and reflection for the holy church clergy. It was set back in the woods to provide privacy for the residents and a contemplative stroll to bookend their days.

Unfortunately, something from the woods followed them home.

It began during one of their nightly meals when one of the sisters spontaneously produced a strange green egg from her mouth. Stillborn, the nauseating creature inside looked like a cross between a human fetus and some kind of horned tick. That first event was seen as a divine omen, a warning, and the sister was locked in a basement cell to repent. But it soon became clear that the bizarre dinner was just the beginning.

Soon priests began finding eggs growing up from under their skin, or sliding out of every orifice. Many questioned what they had actually been worshiping in the Church of Tells as increasingly large eggs began to produce live births, hatching woodland chimera that looked like demons or angels, depending on who you asked. Some tried to destroy the eggs and their aggressive offspring. Others saw caring for the miraculous eggs as a sacred calling, becoming living hatcheries for horned, furred insectile creatures. In short order, the rectory was overrun with monsters, ova, and mad priests.

Learning of the blasphemy transpiring in those dark woods, the church sent a unit of The Cleansing Fire to destroy the grotesque hatchery. Of the few that were sent in, even fewer escaped. They stumbled out broken and shivering, rambling incoherently about ‘the green miracle’ and the coming of ‘a mother of blood and leaf.’ They told of a room filled with pulsating egg-spawn tended to by fawns with the faces of old men. In desperation, the church lit fire to the whole complex and walled off the ruins, hoping they would simply be forgotten.

Today, their plan has mostly worked as the ruins are alternately forgotten or avoided. Although from time to time, eggs with strange patterns or which emanate a hypnotic hum will be discovered between the pews of the Church of Tells, calling the foolish back to the old rectory.

1. The Containing Wall

2. Sulfurous Mists

3. Confessional Hutch

4. Sodden Vestments

5. Poisoned Fonts

6. The Blinded Midwives

7. Profaned Chapel

8. Baptismal Wine Shelter

9. Blessed Cellar

10. The Broken Offices

11. Blasphemous Hatchery

12. Foul Nurseries

13. Altar of the Fecund

14. Fetal Cloisters

15. Nave of Stained Glass Shells

16. Seat of the Green Miracle